Jennelyn, a single mother from Zamboanga del Norte, found new hope through a Parenting Education Program organized by ChildFund Philippines. Struggling to connect with her children, she was introduced to responsive parenting, which emphasizes understanding and addressing children’s needs to grow and develop. As a result, her relationship with her kids improved, with her teenagers becoming more open and her younger children more expressive. Inspired by this transformation, Jennelyn is now sharing her experience to help other parents in her community adopt a more supportive and compassionate approach to parenting.
In the vibrant and resilient community of Zamboanga del Norte, Jennelyn, a 45-year-old single parent, stands as a pillar of strength and determination. With four children relying on her—two teenagers and two pre-teens—Jennelyn’s days are filled with hard work and heartfelt commitment. She tends to their modest farm, ensuring the crops grow healthy and strong, while also caring for their livestock—a vital source of their livelihood. Life, however, is far from easy, and Jennelyn has taken on the roles of both father and mother, shouldering responsibilities that many would find overwhelming.
Though her hands are calloused from years of labor, Jennelyn faced challenges that no physical effort could resolve. As her children grew older, she began noticing a pattern. Her two teenagers were becoming more reserved, hesitant to share their thoughts, while her two pre-teens, including her curious and expressive youngest, a 9-year-old, were struggling to express their emotions. The emotional distance in her family was growing, and Jennelyn didn’t know how to bridge it.
Jennelyn knew she had to make a change when she realized her discipline methods—ones she had inherited from her own upbringing—were no longer effective. Like many mothers in her community, Jennelyn had relied on physical discipline, believing it to be the most practical way to correct behavior. However, as she saw that her children, particularly her youngest, developed poor self-esteem and started to fear her. That was when she began to question if there was a better way.
“I always thought parenting was just about providing for their needs and guiding them,” Jennelyn shared. “But I realized there’s more to it, especially as they grow and start having their own thoughts and feelings.”
This realization brought Jennelyn to a Parenting Education Program organized by ChildFund Philippines as part of the Supervised Neighborhood Play (SNP) initiative in Zamboanga del Norte. The program, designed to equip parents and caregivers with the tools to foster responsive parenting —an approach that focuses on understanding and addressing children’s physical, social, and emotional needs— became a turning point in Jennelyn’s journey.
Learning to Listen
For Jennelyn, the sessions were an eye-opener. As a single parent, she had always felt the immense pressure of being both a mother and a father to her children. “I thought my role was just to guide them and make decisions for them,” she says. “But the sessions taught me that parenting is a two-way street. It’s not just about giving instructions—it’s also about listening.”
Jennelyn learned practical strategies to connect with her children emotionally and mentally. She discovered the importance of creating a safe space where her kids could freely express themselves. The parenting sessions emphasized that addressing children’s feelings was just as crucial as meeting their physical needs.
When she began practicing what she learned from the sessions, she noticed remarkable changes. Her teenagers, once hesitant to share their thoughts, began to approach her more openly, sharing their worries and joys. Her pre-teens, including her youngest, became more expressive and started to trust her with their feelings. “They became more willing to tell me how they feel. I could see they were less afraid of being honest with me,” she said.
Why Parenting Support Matters
Jennelyn’s decision to join the parenting training stemmed not only from her desire to better connect with her children but also from the realization that many mothers in her community faced similar struggles. Physical discipline is a common practice, often used out of frustration or tradition, but it left lasting emotional scars on children.
“What children really need is for us to listen to them, to understand their feelings, and to be there for them in a way that builds trust and respect,” Jennelyn explained.
Inspired by the transformation in her own household, Jennelyn is now reaching out to other parents in her community. She encourages them to rethink their approach to dealing with their children and practice responsive parenting, instead. “I believe that if more parents understand how to communicate with their kids, it will make a big difference in how we all live together in our community,” she says. “Now, I want other parents to know that there’s a better way to guide our children, without the need for fear or physical punishment.”
Responsive parenting strengthens the parent-child bond but also fosters the kind of trust and security that helps children thrive in all aspects of their lives—socially, mentally, and emotionally.
Jennelyn’s story highlights the power of embracing change and the impact of responsive parenting in the holistic development of children and youth. By providing parents opportunities to expand their options to better understand and nurture their children, these initiatives are transforming not only individual families but entire communities.
